A New Adventure (not pregnant)

on being married to an immigrant in the year of our Lord 2025

I love being married.

I am a certified, card-carrying wife guy (it’s a vibe, not a gender) and I am absolutely unashamed to admit it.

Meeting my partner, Felipe, in improv class more than eight years ago, set my life down a unique path that only exists because he does. That fact awes me and comforts me. The things I know, care about, and am capable of have shaped and been shaped by our relationship. And the way I move through the world has changed for the richer and the truer if not always for the better.

Sure, destinations and checkpoints of self I’ve reached in my life since we met very well could have happened independently of him, but he has given a gorgeous specificity to the roads I took to get there.

In another world:

I might still know Spanish, but I wouldn’t have learned it at a Colombian breakfast table stuffing my face with arepas.

I may have still seen all three Lord of the Rings movies (Extended Edition) five times but I wouldn’t have seen them in 20-30 minute increments with pauses in between to learn about what actually happens in the books and then how would I know who Tom Bombadil is!

I may have come around to liking soccer but I doubt it would be my favorite part of weekend mornings or that I’d have favorite kits and favorite players and a song that makes me well up every time I hear it.

I might have read Gabriel Garcia Marquez or listened to Vampire Weekend or tried ceviche or bought a bike or made a Earl Gray tea loaf or watched Y Tu Mamá Tambien. But I’ll never know. How great is that?

cute. fun. personality. endearing. silly. adorable. not taking themselves too seriously.

Sometimes, I do wonder, especially in light of *gestures to everything* what my specific relationship with immigration would have been if I had not done a 2 person Harold with a cute Colombian on the 9th floor of an office building on December 11, 2016. Would I learn about it, piecemeal, through the experiences of my friends and coworkers? Would I, a lifelong goody two shoes, blindly align myself with the “as long as they come the right way” crowd? Would I read articles about the history of legal immigration and get a vague understanding that I would then regurgitate confidently and not quite accurately at parties? Would I have dated a Canadian or two? Would I be that blonde white girl at functions going “Oh wow! I had no idea! That sucks!” while someone tells me how hard they have to work just to access the most basic elements of a life I take for granted?

As it stands, my experience and understanding of the US immigration system, like my experience and understanding of most things LEGO, has been shaped by the man I love and the life we have built together.

A fun new thing is that a week from today, many people will be able to have their experience and understanding of the US immigration system shaped by the man I love. Because he wrote a freaking book about it.

Look at this cover! So dynamic! So sexy!

Here is the cool description

A hilarious and satirically accurate introduction to the United States immigration system from comedian and writer for The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Felipe Torres Medina

Born in Colombia, Felipe Torres Medina moved to the US at the age of 21 and has spent over ten years of his life both navigating the chaos and confusion of the immigration system and explaining that craziness to the clueless Americans around him. There are few subjects that Americans have stronger opinions on. And there are few subjects that they know less about.

So, like many immigrants before him, Torres Medina sets out to do the job American-born citizens won’t: make the US immigration process accessible, relatable, and, hey, a little bit funny. With an outsider’s eye, an insider’s affection, and a biting, humorous flair, Torres Medina invites readers from all passport lines to explore the multiple paths and potholes of moving to America, and experience just how many choices it takes to choose a new home.

In this laugh-out-loud book, you will be taken down a multitude of possible immigration stories that range from the kafkaesquely silly to an uproarious good time. Some of them are real things that happened to Felipe—like discovering in an immigration interview that he shares a name with several criminals—and some of them are totally invented and will make you question your sanity.

By the end of this handy guide, you’ll learn all you need to know about visas like the H-1B work visa, the infamous 90-day fiancé visa, the so-called Einstein visa, and many more. Remember, the fate of each character’s journey is all in your hands. So choose at your own risk.

Here is where you can order a signed copy!

He is so cute!! I like him so much!! Look at him sign the book he wrote!!!

I watched Felipe make this book over the past two years and I am so humbled by and proud of the work he has done and the thing he has created. For more than eight years I have watched him face adversity with humor and strength. I have watched him meet the ignorance of others with humor and empathy. I have watched him reach out to the immigrants around him with humor and generosity. I have watched him take on the systems and circumstances that have caused him pain, anxiety, and heartache and refuse to grant them his despair. It has been incredible and inspiring to watch and an honor to be a part of.

This year is about to be a new and next adventure. We’re going to Kansas City and Boston and Portland and LA and Miami and wherever else people ask him to come and laugh about immigration.* I am excited to hang out in hotel rooms (my favorite!) and see new parts of the country. But I’m the most excited to experience this next slice of my life with the specificity that comes with deciding to hang out with one person forever, no matter what Live Radio Show Recordings invite them on.

I hope you’ll get the book! I hope you’ll share it with someone who you think could benefit from it. Maybe an immigrant friend who feels lonely in their struggles, or someone who doesn’t understand why undocumented people can’t just “do it right” like their grandparents did. I hope if you’re in New York City or Kansas City in the next two weeks, you come hang out with us in person!

In another world, I may have stumbled upon a version of this book on my own. Found it by chance on the shelves of a bookstore rather than tripping over a box of sixteen of them on the floor of my living room. But that world is not the one I’m in. It’s not the story I chose. How great is that?

*yes, it is possible to laugh about immigration. Don’t believe me? I’ve got a book for you!