Slowly and Then All At Once
Publishing a book takes forever but DEAR GOD SLOW DOWN!! (feat. tips on how you can help your author friends!)
Five years ago I wrote a humor piece.
Two and a half years ago I sold a book based on that humor piece.
About a year ago, I finished writing the book.
Now, in less than three months, the book will be out in the world and I will have to (get to?) sell the book in the hopes that everyone else in the world will read the book.
This has taken forever.
And it’s happening way too fast.
There is a lot to say about what it feels like to have made a book. To have worked with people to create a physical object that contains my words and thoughts and ideas and jokes. A thing that is miraculously tangible and terrifyingly final.
But that’s for a few months from now :)
I am lucky enough to have many incredible friends who have written and published their own books of all types. So I wasn’t coming into this process totally blind. But I still sometimes feel like a little midwestern girl twirling around Times Square getting distracted by the lights and the tall buildings and the family of Dutch people fighting in the TKTS line while everyone else is perfectly dressed and walking at a clip and knows exactly where they’re going.
It feels like I’m Andi in the opening scene from the Devil Wears Prada without knowing it.
I’m getting up to put on my sweatpants and try to write some funny publicity tweets blissfully unaware that all around me are other authors and people in the publishing industry counting almonds and putting on lingerie and hailing taxis in a hot way. At least in my shots of this KT Tunstall song, there are bagels.
But I have learned a few things and some of you have been asking how you can best support the book* so I thought I’d drop a few of my learnings here so you can know a little more about how this world works in case you have more friends who have books in the future!
*no one has been asking, I made that up so I could tell you.
Here are things that help books:
Some of these, anyone can do! Some of them require access/expertise/effort! This is not a “things I expect from all my friends if they want to stay my friends” list! It is a list of things that help books :)
Pre-orders! I know everyone says this but do they explain why? Often yes. But I will do it again. Basically, pre-orders are great because they 1) tell bookstores that people are interested in the book (so they’ll order copies for the store) and 2) count toward your sales that first week which helps a lot for best-seller lists!
Word of mouth on social media. This seems like a big “duh” but it really does help. Just a little post w/ a pic (and an order link if you’re feeling slutty) goes a long way to sharing it with all your friends, enemies you’re keeping an eye on, and your mom’s friends from work who you had to let follow you otherwise it would be a whole thing.
Newspaper/TV/Radio. Pretty self-explanatory I think. More people learning about the books helps sell it. So: If you have a podcast, I would love to be on it and talk about the book and the midwest and whatever else you want to talk about! If you have a TV show (omg so cool!) I would love to be on it and talk about the book and the midwest and whatever else you want to talk about. If you have a newspaper, good for you, thank you for supporting journalism. If you edit or write for a newspaper or other publication, I would love to be in it and talk about the book and the midwest and whatever else you want to talk about!
Placement in gift stores! There is a word I love in Spanish: “chichiguas” (pronounced Chee Chee Gwahs) which basically means knick-knacks/all those things you can buy at Paper Source. Giftable books like mine don’t just show up there by magic (except the tarot ones)! So, if you know a store like that, I would adore their contact info.
Book clubs! This one isn’t really relevant for my book unless you wanna have a REALLY chill week at book club, but because I am incredibly selfless/feeling self-conscious about serving myself so much in this post, I wanted to also let you know that your friends who wrote novels would love for you to read it at your book club! If you ask them, they may even pop by for an in-person or Zoom visit!
Read the book and text me if you like it. You can open up to one page and text me what you like about that page, it’s fine. I just really need the validation at this point. Just kidding, the book is perfect and I am confident everyone will love it! I am doing just fine!!
So those are the big ways you can help your book friends! As a fun coda, here are some of the books whose authors are MY friends (brag!)
New Erotica for Feminists by Caitlin Kunkel, Brooke Preston, Fiona Taylor, and Carrie Wittmer
Title says it all. It’s a hilarious and poignant joke feast for all the lady lovers (in the cool way) in your life.
Happy and You Know It and A Special Place for Women by Laura Hankin
If you liked the Fleishman is in Trouble mini-series (or the book!) you’ll LOVE Happy and You Know It’s cutting but somehow compassionate look at New York motherhood of the elite. Also if you like Anna Camp’s character in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
Special Place for Women is for my spooky gals, well-dressed activists, and women who still don’t know how we’re supposed to feel about The Wing.
Fun fact about Laura - we were introduced by the barista at our Harlem coffee shop and are now Real Human Friends!
Another fun fact! She has a NEW book coming out on May 2!
The Daydreams is: A deliciously entertaining novel about the stars of a popular teen show from the early 2000s—and the reunion special, thirteen years after their scandalous flameout, that will either be their last chance at redemption, or destroy them all for good.
(I stole this from the book page)
But treat her baby book as if it were mine and pre-order!!! You’re in for a REAL treat.
Cinderella and the Glass Ceiling by Laura Lane and Ellen Haun
The Feminist fairy tales of your dreams (and S.M.A.R.T. goals) that come packaged in a gorgeous book object. The stories are hysterical and poignant and the art is really something.
Men to Avoid in Art and Life by Nicole Tersigni (can you tell that I have a certain type of friend!)
Absolutely hysterical juxtaposition of jokes and paintings. Nicole wrote a viral twitter thread one day and never freaking looked back.
Frog and Toad are Doing Their Best by Jennie Egerdie
Perfect. Sweet. Funny. No notes.
Hysterical by Elissa Bassist
A devastatingly hilarious and hilariously devastating memoir and musing on how the female body handles and holds all the things that happen to it. And how often that body is dismissed and ignored. Somehow this book is also so funny.
Start More Than You Can Finish: A Creative Permission Slip to Unleash Your Best Ideas by Becky Blades (my mom!!!!)
This is a wonderful pep talk slash workbook slash inspiring creativity memoir that will challenge everything you’ve ever heard about creative success in a way that miraculously doesn’t feel painful or full of regret for time lost. My mom wrote it and it is the best. START it today <3
Everybody’s Favorite by Lillian Stone
Lillian is one of those writers whom I would hate with a jealous passion if I did not know with my own human face that she was one of the sweetest people in the whole world. The fact that she’s piss-yourself funny while also dropping brilliant observations (of both self and surroundings) somehow does not fill me with envious rage 24/7 (just like 21/7). Her book comes out in July and I am SO freaking proud of her. Treat yourself to it.
Finally
It’s me, hi, I’m A Guide to Midwestern Conversation by Taylor Kay Phillips, it’s me.
And not to be all “I made a thing” but… I made a thing. And it’s about to go out into the world and I am incredibly nervous but so very excited.
Here’s a sneak peak picture of the inside!
Ahhh!! Can you believe!!!
Okay, love you all! See you next week! Bye <3
Congratulations!