TGICryday 04/10 - Private Equity, Space, Parasocial Success, and Weddings

In which I cry mostly about the actions of complete strangers.

We are so back.

If you are new here, this is an, admittedly very sporadic (hopefully less so from now on) segment of my newsletter where I write about stuff that made me cry this week.

Last week I was on hiatus from our show (Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Sundays 11:30 on HBOMax né Max né HBOMax) and had my first full, free week in my newly organized apartment. It was divine. Usually I go into hiatus with a long list of personal project goals, get paralyzed with indecision about which one to tackle on a given day, decide that I “need time to rest”, end up doing all logistics for all family and life events for the next five months, then reach the end of the break devoid of any rejuvenation and also annoyed at myself for “not accomplishing anything.”

But this break was better! I did a little writing, a lot of reading, and saw so many friends! Also I got a manicure in a neutral color that lets my tips peek through a little and it feels so classy and made me feel totally ready to go to five wedding events in 13 days. Three of which I have been to and two of which are tonight and tomorrow!

This week I’ve been back at work, but we don’t have a show. That means 1) I don’t have to work on Saturday and 2) I got to ease back into working.

Also I’ve been crying a little - so here’s a list of times I did that and why.

Reading Bad Company: Private Equity and the Death of the American Dream by Megan Greenwell

Ever since I listened to this episode of the Money with Katie podcast two years ago, I have become increasingly obsessed with and infuriated by the growing infestation of private equity across American industry. On the pod, Katie interviews Brandon Ballou, a former DOJ special council and author of the book Plunder: Private Equity’s Plan to Pillage America, which I immediately purchased and then read over my 2024 spring hiatus because I Love To Relax and Have Fun And Know How To Do It Real Good.

Both books lay out the little-known and big bad MOs of private equity (leveraged buyouts, charging management fees, doing the majority of transactions with debt taken on by the acquired company not the PE firm, firms not having to pay real tax rates because of the carried interest loophole) as well as the ways that our current legal and economic system is set up to allow these things (not having laws against any of the stuff in the other parenthetical). Beyond those nuts and bolts, Ballou’s focuses mostly on the behavior at the top by executives and the firms writ large, while Greenwell’s follows four actual people whose lives were directly impacted by PE’s intervention into their industries and communities.

While plenty about PE’s relentless and often anti-human pursuit of profit at the expense of all else makes me angry cry, what made me well up this week (while listening to the audio book on the way to hot yoga) was this story, told at length in the book, of a group of people in rural Wyoming who came together and stayed together over seven years in order to fundraise and build a totally brand new hospital in their community because Private Equity fucked the one they had up so bad. They are people-oriented problem solvers working together to provide a sustainable, necessary service to their community regardless of the profit margin, in many ways, the absolute antithesis of everything that Private Equity has shown itself to be. My tears came from a place of dumbfounded relief that power, money, and shamelessness does not have to add up to inevitability as long as there are a few stubborn AF humans to stand in the way.

Looking at These Pictures

This picture includes literally every human being except one, Michael Collins, the astronaut who took it. It almost always instigates what I call an “instant well up” because I…instantly well up. (I do not actually “call it that”... that’s just what happens). A picture of everyone who has ever existed hanging out without you feels like it could be the loneliest thing in the world. But the fact that someone is willing to not be in the picture in order for the picture to be taken, affirms my sense of our collective humanity more than any robot shot of our perfectly-lit globe ever could.

^^This picture is old. But I’m thinking about it because

this one’s not.

Come on!!

Two kids in Orlando, one wearing the soccer jersey of a black Frenchman (the son of immigrants) who he can now watch play soccer whenever he wants on a pocket computer with more technology than we had the first time we walked on the moon! They’re watching four people hurtle into the glorious blue sky and also there’s a Honda FiT?

There is so much to be scared and wary and skeptical of when it comes to new technologies, the people who control them, and how we all use them - but hot damn does it also come with space and being in touch with our faraway loved ones and hip-replacement surgery technology that had my dad walking the SAME DAY!

It’s nice sometimes to remember that we were born in a time of ordinary miracles.

Listening to This Podcast about the Launch of This Book

Honestly not a lot to say here except I have a parasocial relationship with the (basically exactly my age) hosts of the Diabolical Lies podcast. I think they are so smart. I think their relationship is so refreshingly built on a commitment to both empathy and excellence. Caro Claire Burke released her debut novel this week which is poised to be the absolute Biggest Deal Book of the year and this whole episode is just her new friend and business partner gassing her up and asking her questions and celebrating the fact that She Fucking Did The Thing. Stranger wrote a book. Her friend is happy for her. Made me cry.

Also, I really liked the book and read it in like 18 hours.

Watching My Friends Dance (and Vow) at Their Wedding

I love love. I love weddings. I love dressing up to find out what my friends would choose when asked to select their relationship’s “signature cocktail” (French 75 and Cucumber Gimlet! Two gin drinks! Bold!).

One of the great things about loving people is the precious privilege of seeing them be known and loved by others. A wedding offers a sacred and unique chance to meet the collaborators in one (or two!) specific companionships. How wonderful to commit for a brief few hours to my role as a supporting character in another person’s life. To surrender full protagonist duties to someone who is also buying me dinner and hiring one or multiple people to play Mr. Brightside when I’m on my 3rd glass of of champagne, gin, lemon juice and sugar.

Also to serve. Also how wonderful to serve.

My friend who got married is a really special person who found a really special person. Which is as cliche and unoriginal as it is exactly what I want for him. And exactly what he deserves. I cried the way we cry when things are as they are supposed to be. Which, in a way, is really crying for all the times they’re not.

—

We have a family wedding tomorrow where prior experience dictates I will also absolutely freaking lose it. I can’t wait.

Tell me what makes you cry and also your thoughts on Private Equity, Space, Parasocial Relationships with Podcasters, Tradwives, and Weddings!

Reading:

This newsletter by my friend and mentor Caitlin Kunkel.

Cue the Sun by Emily Nussbaum

The Husbands by Holly Gramazio

Listening:

Colombian Wedding Music!

Wearing

My plastic Birkenstocks! Finally! Spring! She has SPROING!

Love you all!