Des Moines You Guys!!!!
Shakes with Cake, Monday Closures, and the Motherfucking Holiday Inn Express
Here I am!
I left home on Sunday night a little bit later than I intended, so most of my drive to Des Moines was in the dark. (Sorry Mom and Dad!! It’s light out now! Don’t worry!!)
Drive was uneventful except I am a Big Dummy and didn’t bring an AUX cord so I spent most of the drive trying to find a clear radio signal, which was inevitably Country, which promptly made me sob. (Have you guys heard that song that goes ‘He’s not my blood/But he’s my boy!?!?!’ — get the absolute eff out of here!! And that one about ‘Half of My Hometown!?’ — game freaking OVER)
I think besides the obvious ‘being close to my family,’ and ‘having unfettered access to public restrooms,’ driving by myself is the number one thing I miss about living in the Midwest. There’s a type of focused relaxation when I’m in my own car that doesn’t happen when I’m sitting on the subway or walking down the street. Not to mention the bummer difference that I’m both actually alone and in control of a very large metal object and therefore less susceptible to harassment of any kind.
Annnnyyyway…
You guys I love the Holiday Inn Express (and Suites).
Even though I was on the Ground Floor and so had to pull down my blinds in order to not flash the residents of the #veryhip apartment complex across the street, everything about the H.I.E. (a.S.) is magnificent. There is a pool that no one swims in. A gym that no one goes to. And a FULL HOT BREAKFAST that is FREE and has TURKEY SAUSAGE.
My routine* is: I wake up early in the morning, take my thyroid medication, do a 10 minute yoga flow (it is stretching I don’t do any of the hard stuff) and then write for 35 minutes while I wait for my meds to do whatever it is they’re supposed to do while I have an empty stomach. Then I go to BREAKFASSSTTTTT and then come back and write until I hit my word count goal or have to do something else!
*it has been two days
I have been to three coffee shops in two days, they are my children, here are pictures + descriptions of all of them.
Yesterday I went shopping around the East Village and the Historic Valley Junction and it was the absolute best. A lot of the stores were closed because it was Monday but that didn’t stop me from buying 3 cute cards, 2 laptop stickers, 4 books, Amaretto fudge, and a 34$ bandana that says “feel the fear, do it anyway” and made me break down and cry *in* the store. The store was called Porch Light, it is lovely and… apparently a tear jerker of an artisanal showroom!!
Also there are parking meters here and if anyone knows how I can get my phone to turn off the ‘Feed the Meter’ reminder, please let me know.
Today I went to Zombie Burger + Drink Lab per the advice of Rachel Mans McKenny and I had an excellent burger and a shake that was part Ice Cream part LITERAL CAKE BATTER. It was delicious, life changing, and I had to throw half of it away because it was Cake. Batter.
Then I came to this coffee shop to finish up my word count, do some freelance stuff, and write this newsletter!
There are people sitting behind me right now and I do not know if they are on a first date or like a ‘job meeting thing’ but I feel like they are on a first date. I literally can’t eavesdrop because the birds are chirping too loud…so… if there were a more Midwestern problem, I could not think of it.
Her sister likes Des Moines better than Florida. That’s what I got.
Currently Reading: twitter to procrastinate writing :/
Currently Watching: About to go Home2TheHolidayInnExpressAndSuites + watch the new Murders in the Building!
Listening to: The Conversation Going on Behind Me
Laughing at: Frog and Toad are Doing Their Best! It’s Out Today!!!
Spending Money On: … Bandanas
LOVE YOU ALL!
Madison + Milwaukee are next! Tell me if I gotta do stuff. I’ll do it!!
(he just asked her her favorite place to travel… it is totally a date)
There was a guy in a bar in Milwaukee 30 years ago who came to our table and said "I'm the best whistler you've ever heard" and then proceeded to prove it. I don't remember the bar.
New Glarus Brewing in Madison. Their artwork is not visually appealing but their beer is good snd you can only get it in Wisconsin.